Monday, May 18, 2009

Just saying no

I said no to something. Today. Well, a few days ago, but seems there was a miscommunication so I had to do it again today, which was awkward. It's a writing-related something, which is why I'm blogging about it here. I just realised how hard it was to say I couldn't do it, because of that little voice at the back of my head saying "You must do everything, you've got to promote yourself, promote your book, can't say no, can't say no.

But.

But doing this thing would have been extremely stressful. Not because of the thing itself, but because of the timing. Due to events that have occurred and decisions that have been made since the possibility of this first came up. Things are not as they were a few months ago. And, given how unwell I have been, and how stress and being in public have exacerbated this, I finally made the decision to say no. No.

There is so much in my mental make-up that is trying to resist. So much guilt. Must do it, can't let anyone down. Must do it. It's writing! You'll love it.

No. I said no. I meant no. I had to do some tapping to get rid of the guilt. But this is good. It is good. Hard. But good.

7 comments:

jentropy said...

Good for you! I've done a lot of that this year. It's hard to remember to take care of ourselves first, but others will benefit in the end.

annie clarkson said...

Hurray for saying no. Good for you. It is hard to say no, but necessary sometimes, and we shouldn't feel guilty

Gay Degani said...

I hope that wasn't me Tania!!! I'm very happy to wait for WHENEVER--months from now or not--you have time for FFChronicles!!

Tania Hershman said...

Jen, yes, you're so right, got to keep remembering that. Others will benefit if I am saner!

Annie, why is it so hard? Ah, well.

Gay - no! Not you at all, I can't wait to blog for you, just haven't had the headspace to do it yet. Would never say no to you :)

Nik Perring said...

Yes, good for you, T.

SueG said...

Well done, but I can imagine how hard it was. Funny how we feel like we have to do everything. Why is that? But it's definitely misplaced. As Jentropy said, we have to learn to take care of ourselves. Plus it's probably true that if we do something that we don't really want to do, it won't be done all that well, anyway. You're doing plenty already!

WOMEN RULE WRITER said...

Hey T
I can relate. I've been asked to do a couple of things with looming deadlines. I said neither yes nor no, not wanting to turn my back on work. But, but, but...I sure don't have the headspace for them and may not for a while either.

And I thought the guilt thing was purely Catholic. Har har.

N x