This blog is about all things writerly, and it's the way I deal with the things that happen to me as part of the writing life. So I have to write about this, even though there are things I can't talk about yet, because this is definitely part of the writing life and definitely something I didn't find so easy to deal with. Alrighty, here goes:
Over a 24-hour period at the beginning of this week, I won three prizes in three short story competitions.
Crazy.
Unbelievable.
I won third prize in the
Momaya comp, 2nd prize in the Vignette Press short story comp, which they haven't announced yet, and 1st prize in a comp whose details I am not allowed to share until November.
I got the email about
Vignette Press on Monday morning and I was delighted. That and Momaya are for the same story - Drinking Vodka in the Afternoon, which was broadcast on Radio 4 last year. Funnily enough, just the day before (honest, this isn't poetic license) when i discovered that Drinking Vodka hadn't got anywhere in this other comp, I said to myself, Well, it's a
nice story, it's gentle, no fireworks, it's just not a
winning story.
The universe said something else.
When I popped to the Momaya site later that day just to see if they had announced - and assuming that had i got anywhere they would have let me know - my heart almost stopped when I saw my name. I was stunned. I couldn't believe it. All in one day. Amazing.
Then, the next morning, when I got the email about the 1st prize for a 600-word story that I wrote a few months ago in my writing group, I was literally blown away. I think my body went into shock. I couldn't do anything, had to watch crap TV and eat chocolate. I wasn't elated, I was confused. I kept thinking, But that story... how could it have...? How could they...?
I have told a few people and they say I should be delighted, I have to celebrate, but I am at a loss for how to celebrate. I don't know how to celebrate - I don't drink, what should I do? I think if it had all been spaced out a little more, I could have taken it in, slowly. But it has thrown me - am I becoming one of those "prize-winning" writers that you hear about? But... but..
Stop whinging. It's ridiculous to whinge about this. I am totally ashamed at my reaction. But if I can't do it here, where can I do it? I wasn't expecting this, I didn't think I needed it - the universe whacking me on the head with a frying pan and saying,
Girl, you are on the right track. I thought I was doing ok. Ok, is good. Ok is safe. Now I have to shift my thinking, shift gears or something.
I will close on the ecstatic note I should be hitting - it's GREAT in terms of publicity for my book, GREAT in terms of the money which will pay for my travel to the
La Muse retreat GREAT because Drinking Vodka is the first Mary Margaret story and part of my project for the writing retreat is to keep writing about her and this gives me a fabulous push, GREAT because the 600-word story will be in the flash collection I am working on so that gives that a push too.
Great. It really is great. There's obviously something wrong with me because I am not jumping up and down. Jump. Jump!